Although I perform to a vast sea of indifference, I’ve had
the pleasure and the pain of experiencing every imaginable reaction to my music.
It goes with the territory. While the good has outweighed the bad, it only
takes one person to dampen the day. Donations aside, I have been pleasantly
surprised by the many different ways people have expressed their appreciation
towards my music. For starters, body language. I’ll take anything I can get down there.
Whether it be a smile, a wink, a thumbs up, a gesture of silent applause, or
even a shrug of the shoulders of those who wish they had spare change. I’ve
had a handful of strangers walk by through the years who’ve given me a pat on
the back. I’ve been hugged by men and women. One time, a woman paused me in the middle of a song and gave me the most
thrilling kiss on the lips. Of course there’s no better expression
of approval than full-on applause. Understandably it takes a bit to go out of
one’s way to make noise in this sea of indifference, but when someone does,
it’s greatly appreciated. It’s usually one person who sparks a flurry of
claps amongst the timid. Once in a rare while the whole platform joins in
chorus of hands, and everyone seems happy. I’ve acquired numerous tokens of
appreciation: cards, notes, drawings, poems, photos, and sometimes the most
elaborate works of art expressing appreciation for the cause. I once received
a dozen roses inside a beautifully adorned box. The roses were not real, but
fashioned from poems she wrote. I can’t begin to imagine the work she put
into them. I wish I could describe in detail everything that has been given
to me. |
|
|
In the beginning, my naivety did a good
job of protecting me from negativity I would encounter down the road. Had I been
aware, I probably would have given up. Fortunately, my blinders gave me a
couple of years to get my feet wet before reality reared its ugly head. There is the roll of the eyes, the
shaking of the head, the hands on the ears, the
sudden retreat to the other end of the platform. The scowls, the cringing,
the laughter. Yes, the laughter. There were times I would have rather been
spit at than laughed at. And yes, that has happened too. I’ve been given the
finger. I’ve been told to shut up. Some have yelled “you suck!” And my favorite, “don’t give up your day
job”. If they only knew it was my day job. No one has ever inflicted any
significant pain towards me, but I have come close to experiencing the wrath
of some highly disturbed people; schizophrenics yelling at the top of their
lungs, among others. But just as many are afraid to express their gratitude,
many are afraid to express their disdain. Those who speak out,
usually do it under their breath and won’t look me in the eye. The beautiful thing is, looking back,
both extremes have always existed. No matter how hard I try, it has taken me
this long to finally realize I can’t please everybody. With that realization comes freedom. |
